Full Circle – The Daughter That Never Was

* This article was originally published to the When Life Goes Full Circle blog on April 28, 2020

The Back Story

Cheri never had a child of her own. She was convinced that would never be the case, because she had seen her daughter before. Way back in her late twenties she had a vivid dream. A clear vision of a beautiful little girl. The details of her face, hair, and body structure left a lasting imprint in Cheri’s mind, and the man she was with at that time was a natural fit to be the father of the daughter she knew was soon to come.

Many years before having the dream, Cheri had resolved in her mind that if she was not married and had children by age thirty five she wasn’t going to pursue the idea. Years rolled by and the relationship she had with the man she thought would be the father of her children remained unchanged. She eventually parted ways with him.

In those waiting years, Cheri had turned her affections towards her brother’s two children to become the awesome Aunt they knew and loved. It was a wonderful alternative that filled her heart, and the expectations for the arrival of the little girl she had dreamed about faded to memory.

Well into her forties, Cheri finally found the man who would become her husband. Also in his mid-forties with grown children from a previous marriage, any notion of becoming a mom at that point was lost to time and circumstance. But she did foster a special relationship with her stepchildren, who now call her mom.

The Full Circle Moment

In her fifties, Cheri traveled to Texas with her husband to visit his younger brother’s family. They had just welcomed a second child into the world. A little boy. Their first was a girl, born a couple years prior. That was familiar territory for Aunt Cheri, another young niece and nephew to adore.

During that visit Cheri joined her sister-in-law, the two kids, and their grandmother for a weekend getaway to San Antonio. One morning as the family was preparing for a day of play and sightseeing, Cheri took her little niece outside to see the hotel fountain. The happy toddler bounced around with all the joy and energy a two-and-a-half-year-old can muster. She turned around with a happy smile, curly hair, big brown eyes and said, “Look Auntie Cheri! Bubbles!”

In a flash, a memory washed over Cheri’s mind like a flood. She knew that face! There she was! Exactly like she had seen so many years ago, it was the daughter of her dreams!

In her own words,

“Wow! I dreamed of her way back in the 90’s before I knew any part of this family. How could I see that many years ahead a little child that wasn’t even mine? It was totally God letting me know this little one was coming. I assumed it would be my daughter in my twenties. Why wouldn’t I? But no, it was another niece who I love and adore. Looking back, I realize that God’s given me more than I could ever ask for. I have my family and extended family. They all love and adore me. I didn’t give birth to these kids but I get to share in their lives and I couldn’t be happier about it.”

The Meaning

Cheri ponders the meaning behind this full circle moment. She finds comfort in the truth that the relationships she has with her nieces, nephews, step-kids, and now great nieces and great nephews, are as strong as they are because they didn’t have to compete with the daughter that never was. There was no split loyalty or divided attention.

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