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Till rising and gliding out, I wandered off by myself,
In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,
Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars.
Walt Whitman, When I Heard the Learn’d Astronomer (excerpt)
Stargazer
Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens. Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one and calls forth each of them by name.
Stargazer
The Backstory
I was born into an age of space exploration, when John F. Kennedy’s famous moonshot objective occupied the world’s imagination. It was all over the newspapers, the radio, and television; the Space Race. From Sputnik to the Space Shuttle, a cultural phenomenon emerged that spawned science fiction stories, movies, educational programs, and TV shows. Growing up under those influences produced a lifelong interest inside me, so it is probably no surprise that I developed into an aspiring astronomer, a Stargazer, with astronaut dreams.
Stargazer
It was my childhood dream to one day fly Air Force jets and NASA rockets, exploring the wild blue yonder and venturing into space. TV shows like Lost in Space, Star Trek, and Buck Rogers stirred the imagination.
Incredible sci-fi movies with never-before-seen special effects launched those imaginations into high orbit, such as Planet of the Apes, Logan’s Run, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Star Wars, and Battlestar Galactica. Then along came true-to-life productions like The Right Stuff and Top Gun that locked me in.
Stargazer
Some of my earliest memories are looking up into the night sky with my dad to find the Big Dipper, Orion’s Belt, the moon and planets. I remember going to the library and skipping the children’s section to find books about space and astronomy.
One of my best memories from those days is my 9th birthday. It was 1977, and Mom knew all about her little space cadet, so she fashioned a birthday cake into the shape of a giant Apollo rocket ship. Complete with launch countdown and a group of friends to join the occasion, I was thrilled!
My parents raised the bar later that same year with the best Christmas present ever. They bought their little stargazer a telescope. Talk about a game-changer!
Over the next several years I spent countless nights peering into the cosmos with my fancy gadget. As I grew older, other interests competed for my time. Athletics, stamp collecting, social events and girls drew me away from the stars, but my inner astronaut remained.
I was a 17-year-old kid in 1985 thinking about my adult future as I wandered through a high school gymnasium converted into a career fair. Hundreds of kids from around the region came to learn about colleges and vocations. Dozens of display booths and tables enticed young minds to ponder the possibilities.
I can hardly remember the ones I stopped at, but there is one standout … the Air Force Recruiter.
Captivated by the uniform, colorful pamphlets, and amazing photos of military aircraft, I listened intently as the recruiter spoke to several of us.
I was not the only high-flying dreamer there that day.
I knew that NASA astronauts often get their start as pilots. So, in my mind, that was my pathway to space. When my turn finally came to speak with the recruiter directly, I asked him point blank what I needed to do to follow in the footsteps of the great ones, like Alan Shepard, John Glenn, or Neal Armstrong.
The recruiter delivered a profound, life-altering response, “You’ll never fly kid. You’re too tall.“
In an instant, my dreams were shattered by a single thoughtless, careless comment. I was stunned to silence, and walked away dazed. With my dreams of flight gone and graduation looming, I was utterly confused. I had no idea what to do. I had to figure out a new dream.
The Full Circle Moment
Long story short, I made some decisions and chose a career path. With all the twists and turns that life can throw at a young person, I eventually found my way into Information Technology.
The years passed by, adult responsibilities took over, and stargazing became a rare thing.
The old telescope stopped working and ended up in the trash.
Still, there were moments when I looked up to ponder the vastness of space, wishing I could fly away on some great adventure into the unknown.
I never lost my interest in Aviation & Aerospace, visiting several events and locations over the years. I’ve watched the Blue Angels and the Thunderbirds perform at several air shows. I’ve visited the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, toured the National Naval Air Museum in Jacksonville, and the National Air Force Museum in Dayton. I’ve been to the Kansas Cosmosphere, the Kountze Planetarium, the Astronaut Hall of Fame, the Neal Armstrong Air & Space Museum, and many more.
Of course, I’ve visited multiple NASA sites many times over, including the Kennedy Space Center at Cape Canaveral, Johnson Space Center in Houston, Stennis Space Center in Mississippi, and the Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville.
When my younger brother, David, decided to pursue piloting as a career, I had the opportunity to join him in flight on more than one occasion. Taking the controls for a few minutes was as close as I ever came to realizing my own aviation dreams.
Piper Seminole
When my RV Life days ended, I settled down in Arizona. Far from big city lights in the foothills of the Weaver Mountains, I enjoy some amazingly clear nighttime skies right in my own back yard.
One night my wife Cheri and I were outside observing a particularly dark sky that allowed for a clearly visible band of the Milky Way. The Pleiades Cluster, Jupiter, Mars, and hundreds of other amazing celestial objects sparkled brightly.
I muttered the words, “I sure miss my telescope. This desert sky is perfect for stargazing.“
Cheri took that bit of information and started some research with our good friend R. Scott Anderson to find me a new telescope.
When my birthday arrived and I opened the box, I experienced a level of giddiness not felt since 1977.
A Full Circle Moment of nearly 50 years!
Cheri selected the Celestron Nexstar 8SE. This instrument provides viewing capabilities far beyond my vintage 1977 gadget. When I combine the Celestron with the ideal sky conditions of the Arizona desert, I can now peer into the cosmos far deeper than ever before.
I can see the detailed contours of moon craters and lunar mountains. I see the colors of Jupiter with its orbiting moons, the red hue of Mars, and the rings of Saturn. Every time I take the Celestron out for stargazing it takes me back in time to my childhood.
The Meaning
I accepted long ago that my astronaut dreams will never happen, but they are still alive in my heart. Whether I’m in my mind going supersonic in the cockpit of a roaring fighter jet, or strapped-in on top of a hurtling rocket breaking the bonds of Earth’s gravity, my imagination stirs.
Elon Musk is helping to keep the dream alive as SpaceX rockets often flash across the Arizona sky, setting the stage for mankind’s great Aspiration for Reaching Mars.
It’s possible I will still be around to witness that.
If so, it will be quite the experience to live through both pivotal events … the 1969 Apollo Moon Landing and the to-be-determined Arrival on Mars.
Looking back to 1985 with a more mature perspective, I feel sorry for that kid whose dreams were trampled. At that point in my life, I was far too young and naïve to realize that one person’s opinion is not the final truth. This was exacerbated by the fact that my mother adamantly opposed the idea of enlisting, so I gave up too easily. I lacked the guidance and encouragement needed to stand firm and pursue my dreams regardless of the opposition.
I think there are two key takeaways from this life lesson. First, don’t let anyone dash your dreams. Pursue them with all your heart until you know for certain whether it is, or is not, meant to be. YOU get to decide that.
Second, connect with a higher power for guidance. Pray, seek God’s wisdom, and take the counsel of trusted friends. When you have eyes to see, and ears to hear how God is guiding you, your inner spirit will know.
Stargazer
But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.
Stargazer
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